change habits

How I stopped hitting a wall and how you can change bad habits

Hitting your fists against the wall and breaking household items sounds like a far reality to some people. This was my reality for about seven years.

My rage-attacks was not only wasting money but also putting my relationships in danger. What is weird was at the time I would easily feel the rage starting to burn from inside my body until it eventually boiled over.

So I started looking for help and also started chatting to people who was as open as I am to share these types of experiences.

Psychiatrists labelled it as Bipolar and some friends just called it stress or stupidity. I am not into labels so you can call it whatever you want.

Here is what I did to stop my rage and stop my emotions from boiling over.

I took full responsibility for my emotions. 

The first thing I needed to understand that my emotions and the way I react to certain things are my responsibility. Blaming others for your emotions is something a lot of us do on a regular basis. We need to stop blaming others.

We can only stop blaming when we make a decision to be aware of our emotions. When I feel an emotion comes up I stop to think how I will react to the situation.

Thinking about the consequences of my actions also allows me to be more aware in the moment. Am I willing to live with these consequences? Usually the answer is no and then I can adjust my reaction.

Choose a different more healthy reaction.

Since I took responsibility of my emotions I could create a time lapse between stimulus and reaction. These few seconds are enough to choose a different reaction. Try and ask yourself these questions:

Will this situation be a problem one year from now?

What is the more enlightened way to think about this situation?

What are the consequences for my actions?

Am I prepared to live with these consequences?

Will my reaction reflect my deepest values?

Do it on a regular basis.

Want to make this new way of reacting a habit? Then do it over and over again. Be aware of how you react in situations. Choose to take responsibility for your emotions. Observe your own emotions.

We are not our emotions. We can choose to react differently. We can reclaim our power over emotions.